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Tuesday, September 22 2020
 Men! I pray that each of you had a fruitful weekend, an outstanding Monday and a great week ahead. This change in weather is spectacular, I absolutely love fall. It is an amazing time of year, bringing in the rest of winter to prepare for another spring and summer. I need rest. I need to plan rest. It is so easy to not rest or to not plan or better yet to make too many plans (guilty as charged!). A REAL Man plans! Who else loves to make a plan? Come on, raise your hand high! Don't be shy, it's okay to plan. Men and plans go together like peanut butter and jelly. A plan presents a course of action and gets us moving. We like to move, we like action. Action is exciting. Excitement in Action makes life more enjoyable. It's what we are designed for and wired to do, create plans and build things. And then… "Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth." - Mike Tyson A REAL Man plans! That truth hurts, and its real. We’ve been punched in the mouth, now what?? How do you respond when you get punched in the mouth? What do you want to do? Have you given up your plans? Why? A little adversity…come on, you are better than that. Adversity is here to allow us to find alternate ways to be better men. Without adversity life’s too easy. We need difficulties to shape and harden us. When we look back this year, 2020 will be one of the best things that EVER happened to us. Think I’m kidding? A REAL Man plans! Remember how easy life was in February, its hard to remember, you must remember. You Can Plan for It to be Back! Your job is to plan for it. Your job is to plan for your future. Your job is to create a vision for your family, not just for now, but a year, 3 years, 5 years, 10 years, a Generation from now, You must plan this out. If you do not no one else will and your Life will be driven by others and happenstance. You can do this, its part of your God-given purpose. You are a man! Men are intentional. Men are deliberate. Men want to be great. Dare to be great, start planning now for 2021. Plan everything down to the last detail. Every single detail. And then realize this: "best-laid schemes o' mice an' men / Gang aft agley [go often awry]." - Robert Burns And then roll with it and make the next best plan. Why? Because a man without a plan is just a plain peanut butter sandwich and lets be honest we need that jelly to bring some flavor to the plate of life!! This weeks Action:
“Plans are worthless, but planning is everything.”- Dwight Eisenhower The Victory comes in the intentional action of taking charge of your life and those around you and leading them to something bigger and better than where they are now. Focus on how God is leading you and them to make 2021 the counterpunch to this year.
Don’t Fear That Day!!! Jonathan E. Kennedy Jr. Tuesday, September 15 2020
 Hey O! Men, good evening. It's awesome right now, it's late, it's quiet. The air outside is cool and the windows are open and crickets, cicadas and the like are signing their tune. Oh, what a glorious evening. Who else is rejoicing at the return to school and learning and purpose for our kids? It is so important for them to find structure and rhythm again. Could you imagine for a moment, all the pressure and tension and unknowns of the past 6 months but you're not an adult man, you're a child. A child. Imagine how they've felt without routine and structure. Very little rhythms to follow. It's like saying you're retired (which is a misnomer btw) and just waking up and going whichever way the wind blows. That is no way for Endeavoring Men to go through life. We all require discipline, habit, structure, rhythm, and standards to be able to find and live into our purpose. Your family, your wife, your children are no different. Help them with this and you will forever be their hero, even more than you are now. And oh yeah you'll teach them a life school that very very few ever fully develop...the ability to Finish. Family Rhythms What are yours? Do you have any? How did you arrive at them? Have you ever discussed your family rhythms with your family? Why NOT? Family Rhythms The Rhythms or Disciplines of everyday life are so important. Most times when we get into these rhythms they are not on purpose. Sometimes these rhythms come to us from our family of origin. For instance, my wife grew up with Friday night pizza night; her dad would stop at Johns Pizza on the way home with pies for dinner. Happened like clockwork. Food rhythms with families seem to flow easy. Saturday is pancake day, Sundays are for brunch, etc. etc. Family Rhythms A few months ago I listened to a great podcast by Michael Foster that goes by the name of It's Good to Be A Man. BTW he is right. He was asking us to identify what our spiritual disciplines were as a family. What the daily activities we did that showed our wife and kids that we were living into our faith. It's not a complicated thing, it's really as simple as saying prayers before bedtime. Blessing a meal prior to eating it, reading the Bible together, participating in the Sabbath, going to Church... In this current world, our family's spiritual disciplines and rhythms are highly disrupted. You need to fight to not allow this to continue. Also, don't forget you are your kids' first best teacher. You were given your kids to train up in the ways of the Lord. Do that, every day, don't delay; their souls and eternity depend on this! Family Rhythms Some family rhythms can be destructive, you know what these are, stop doing them, it's hard. I know I fight the same urges. Today's Challenge is this: Identify at least 3 Family Rhythms to institute that will allow your family to become the type of family you desire to be. Implement them. Enjoy them. Whether a walk after dinner, more intentional conversation about people's hopes and dreams, a family meeting over the weekend, cooking meals together, or just reading books to your kids, intentional and deliberate family rhythms are a game-changer for all involved. Act! Now! Time to change the game! Don't Fear That Day! Jonathan Kennedy
Monday, September 07 2020
 Men! I pray you were able to enjoy your extra day this week with your family!! May you each have an amazing week. Please enjoy this podcast conversation I had with my friend Aaron of The Dad In The Trenches Podcast and website. Don’t forget life is happening For you! (not too you) Listen to 32. Redefine “Success” (w Jonathan Kennedy Jr.) from Dad In The Trenches on Apple Podcasts. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/ Don’t Fear That Day!!! Jonathan E. Kennedy Jr. Tuesday, September 01 2020
 Hello Man! Yes you man, hello! Welcome to Monday as the dog days of summer come to an end, its time to move on to the next phase of year, school. This may be the most challenging yet. May Your Dash Be With You!
There's a great children's book called, What do you do with an Idea? by Kobi Yamada.
In the book a youngster births an idea and it's in the form of a golden egg. The golden egg grows and grows and won't leave the child alone. Eventually the child starts caring for, nurturing and loving the egg to the point it sprouts the idea and changes the boy and the world around him. The imagery is amazing.
To me our whole life is like that golden egg. A golden moment encapsulated in a person that has the potential to change and grow and affect the world around him...
May Your Dash Be With You!
One way to quantify this potential is with your Dash. Your Dash is the time between when you're born and you die. The Dash (hyphen) that is used to show the extent of your life here on Earth.
How do we measure our Dash?
How does your Dash measure up to others?
Who determines the value of your Dash?
What constitutes a Dash well-lived?
May Your Dash Be With You!
I spend a great deal of time planning aspects of people's Dashes. I see the ups and downs and sideways events that affect how one's Dash plays out. It's never in a straight line. It's more like a stair step or climbing up the side of a mountain. No smooth edges here, even though on paper it appears so.
Our Dash is something to be nurtured and loved and appreciated and grown. Our Dash is to be lived into with boldness and confidence.
It's the part of us that is uniquely us, its make up is ours and ours alone. How should we pursue our Dash?
I know how.
May Your Dash Be With You!
In the last 2 months I've been an observer to 3 men finishing their Dash. (None related to the virus.)
This weekend I had the privilege of attending the celebration of one man's Dash. And what a celebration it was. The thing about this man, and his family, that was so unique and celebrated was how he spent his Dash. While he was young, he was bold. While his time was limited, he was not limited in his time.
You see this man spent his Dash focused on an inheritance that would not fade. He spent his time on life well lived in the service of others. He spent his time on the only thing that orders our Dash in such a way that all other aspects of our Dash work in harmony with the world around us.
May Your Dash Be With You!
You see a Dash well-lived, well-loved and well-focused is the Dash focused on the Eternal; the life we live forever, that is only found in one place, Jesus Christ, as the only son of God, who became human to atone for our sins so as to make right our relationship with God for our eternal salvation!
How about that? Eternal salvation promised through a God-Man named Jesus Christ.
This weeks action item: CHOOSE TO LIVE AN ETERNAL DASH
Isn't this worth your time to figure out? I think so, all of your eternity rests on this.
Answer these, is this all there is? where will you rest when your Dash is complete? How about those you care about the most?
According to C.S. Lewis..."if false, this of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance, the only thing it cannot be is moderately important.”
Don't Fear That Day!
Jonathan Kennedy Jr.
ps...inspired by Matt, thank you!
Tuesday, August 25 2020
 Man! How are you? Seriously, how are you? Are you tired yet? C'mon it's okay to be tired. It's the endless summer, just at home, with the same people. There's no doubt you are where you are supposed to be, however when's the last time you truthfully answered these questions?
I wouldn't be surprised to see Bill Murray and Puxatawney Phil driving by at any moment.
'It feels like Deja Vu, All Over Again'...Yogi Berra. One of the greats. We need more men like him. More throwbacks. Classics. There's a reason the classics are so revered...they've stood the test of time. Will you?
SNAP Out of IT
We've forgotten what manhood, manliness is, it's been stripped from us. Slowly and surely fading away. WAKE UP! Don't let you or your boys succumb to it. We can't lose that generation as well.
When life is like ground hogs day it's pretty hard to remember to Carpe Diem!
That's the point right, it's a long deep slog through the muck that wears us down. It's the tedious day after day monotony that eats at our desires for adventure and glory and the joy that brings. That's what stifles us and eventually destroys those desires.
It doesn't have to be so. It shouldn't be so.
SNAP Out of IT
How does one become a classic?
How does one stand the test of time?
We must roll around in the muck. We must come to treasure being in the muck. We must relish the muck. It can sharpen us, hone us...we need conflict to create change and only through that turmoil of change can we become great.
It's times like these that men like us were made to shine. It's times like these that allow the crucible of change to harden us into the men of purpose God desires us to be. The diamonds in the rough covered in muck awaiting an opportunity to be a classic; waiting for that chance to stand the test of time and create a legacy that matters.
SNAP Out of IT
'Mondays are a great day to focus on what we GET TO do instead of what we HAVE TO do. Life is a gift, not an obligation.' - Jon Gordon
Immerse yourself in classics, immerse yourself in things that have stood the test of time, immerse yourself in objective truths free from the humanistic secular subjectivism surrounding us. Immerse yourself in what you GET TO DO.
This week's action, Pick one of each: person, place, book, idea and thing that has been unwavering over time and invest in that.
Invest in you, invest in becoming a classic, invest in standing the test of time. Not for yourself, do it for your Creator, for your wife, your kids, your church, your community, your friends and your business. Do it because it's worthwhile and noble.
Roll in the muck, become the diamond in the rough, be a classic, stand the test of time...it's part of your purpose, you're here and now; don't delay the slog starts here...living a life as a classic that stands the test of time is a worthy undertaking and won't soon be forgotten.
Don't Fear That Day!
Jonathan Kennedy, Jr. Tuesday, August 18 2020
 Hello fellow brothers and neighbors!!
It is so great to communicate with you today. As the Grateful Dead said famously, "what a long strange trip it's been..." And it only gets stranger. But, hey that's what you get when you're living in a fallen world with sinful people, living for the moment and striving for personal happiness.
The good news is you are Loved, Cared for and Thought about, more than you realize. You don't have to go at it alone. I know you want to, as men it's easy to do that.
Find your band of brothers, cultivate openness and forthrightness with them. Share authentically so others can support you. It is not easy right now to be a man/dad/provider/rock right now in this time and age. You are being pulled in many directions but you can make it, you can persevere, you're here on purpose and you too can Finish in Excellence. Keep striving, keep fighting, keep endeavoring and your faithfulness will be rewarded.
FINISH(ing) Well
My grandfather had a saying that he constantly shared with us:
"Once a job has begun, never leave it til it's done. Be the duty great or small, do it right or not at all." - Irv Kennedy
It is found online this way:
“If a task is once begun, never leave it ‘till it’s done.
Be the labor great or small, do it well or not at all.” --Author Unknown FINISH(ing) Well There's no promise of ease in this. There's not a promise of happiness.
There is a sense of duty and responsibility. There is fulfillment of purpose and follow through.
Making it happen.
So, how are you making it happen? Where are you making it happen? Are you finishing?
FINISH(ing) Well
Many of us have great intentions. We start things or we think about starting things but do we ever think about what those things look like finished?
Think about it for a moment, what is sitting half done in your basement, garage, office, house, etc.
Which project do you most want to finish? Why isn't it?
Which one is the most hard to find time to finish? Why is that?
What is your wife nagging about to get done at home?
FINISH(ing) Well
One of the reasons why we fail to finish is summed up well in Jon Acuff's book aptly titled Finish.
“You’ve got some secret rules that make it really difficult for you to finish.” - Jon Acuff
Maybe perfectionism, maybe distraction.
Don't forget: “Accomplishing a goal is a lot less like taking a train across country and a lot more like driving a bumper car.” - Acuff again...he's sharp.
Here's to shedding your secret rules; here's to crashing; here's to moving into the person you were created to be and here's to finishing!
Action item: Combine two things a project started and a loved one. Find something that you can FINISH WELL with someone you love. Include the people who care most for you and make it happen, FINISH.
Don't Fear That Day!
Jonathan Kennedy, Jr Tuesday, August 11 2020
 Each week I do this, I get to see all the names of the people I send this to in the bcc section of my email. Measuring Success
It's easy to compare ourselves to those around us. Outwardly we can see the trappings of worldly success amongst us all and desire what those around us have. We do this even though we are not living others lives but our own.
Why do we do this? Part of it is the covetous nature of fallen man living in sin. Part of it is we have been conditioned through different mediums to covet things. Think about how many commercial slogans you can remember for the best items produced by man; cars, watches, boats, booze, food, razors, the list goes on and on.
So, How do you measure success?
Measuring Success
Here's one mans definition:
“A person's success in life can usually be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have.” - Tim Ferriss Because of how it's played out in my life I believe this to be true. In fact, in my opinion, the best conversations are the difficult ones and I believe we should relish and wallow and roll around in messy difficult uncomfortable conversations. Now you know why I ask you the things I do! And some of you rue the day I asked.
So, How do you measure success?
Measuring Success
2020 has been a year of uncomfortable conversations. But that's not the only determinant of success, its one of the determinants. Before we can have those conversations we need to define what success looks like for us.
What is your stake in the ground? What is it that you measure yourself to each day? How do you determine if you've made progress or not? What does the man in the mirror say to you?
We need to have our guiding principle, that definition of success that helps us make decisions, that shapes our thoughts, that guides us when we need clarity. Because it's based on our values, priorities, and principles
Measuring Success
Here's the simple task. Finish the following sentence:
I am successful if....
also do this exercise with your wife for your family:
We are successful if...
Answering these two simple sentences for yourself and family will give you clarity around how to spend time, money, activities, schooling choices, vacations, where to worship, who to hang out with and a multitude of other items.
It will also lead to much needed uncomfortable conversations and that leads to a life well-lived with lots of clarity. We all would appreciate more of that.
Don't Fear That Day!
Jonathan Kennedy Jr. Tuesday, August 04 2020
 Good Monday to you men! It is my sincerest hope that each of you is doing well, that you are healthy and able to pursue happiness daily. I pray that your summer has been fruitful, that you're able to multiply your efforts and that there is abundance for you and your family. I implore you to stay strong, understand the stakes of the game, understand the role you've been created to play and execute to the best of your ability to make that happen.
Remember this: you are here for a reason. You are here on purpose. The people you are with are there for a distinct purpose. Embrace and appreciate this. Lean into it. Be grateful for your station as God has created it for you. Live into that station like no one else, like no one else.
What's Important Now
A few weeks ago I wrote about Game Time. That when asked, 'what time is it?' As men we should be ready to respond in kind, Game Time! As in we are ALL IN and ready for action and fully tuned in to the life in front of us. Realistically 80 years goes by in a blink. Think about it. In the history of man we are but a blip on the map. BUT, oh how wonderful that blip could be and how impactful that blip could be, if you think of life as Game Time!
There are many things we put time limits on; we are masters of scheduling our time (choosing how to spend each hour of each day). Shoot I'm almost fanatical about this. Interruptions and sidetracks are none too pleasing. I'm certain some of you have fallen victim to my sense of time or strictness of time. I'm trying to get better, trying to understand an enhanced way to view time. What's Important Now
When I grew up my dad put a huge emphasis on what he called 'QT' or Quality Time. Man, if I had a nickel for every QT/Quality Time reference I heard. I get what he wanted, I get all the pressure and striving for excellence in those times. It spurred some amazing memories, lots of laughs and a bond everlasting.
This same mentality is shown in the National Lampoon movies featuring Clark Griswold, a dad, a man craving nothing but good old fashioned family time; working his tail off to construct, instruct and execute the 'perfect' time together as a family. In Vegas Vacation he almost gave up...almost...but didn't. Notice he still fights for and wins his family. This is a must in how we are to shepherd our families. We cannot back down and cannot give up the fight in how we work to shape their hearts and minds.
What's Important Now
Our days are to be measured by the quality in our time rather than the forced notion of quality time. - JK Jr. The reality is that any and every time we are interacting with those we love and care for we have Quality Time. The most mundane times are where the magic happens. Running errands, grocery shopping, preparing dinner, books at bedtime, doing yard work together, and on and on. These are quality times. These are the moments that shape and mold our most treasured relationships.
These are the times when there are teachable moments. These are the times when little eyes see how to treat others. These are the times to make a positive impact. These simple moments are the building blocks for relationships far and wide.
There is never the perfect time to create the perfect moment to spend with the people you love the most. It does not exist. But you can adopt a mindset of gratitude and appreciation for the time you have with people and use that to their benefit.
What's Important Now
In my line of work there is a lot of time spent on relationships. There's a lot of time spent on difficult conversations. There's time in triumphs and tragedies. A few weeks ago a friend and clients 15 yr old son died tragically. It was sudden, it was unexpected, it was too soon. This is the 5th man I've known to lose a teenage son. All too sudden, all unexpected and all too soon.
The memories they share the most are the ones that are the most basic. The ones that were organic and happened during the time they spent together. They remember the quality in the time they had together.
Your task this week is singular:
Be grateful, present and appreciative of the quality in the time you have around the ones you love the most.d
Put the phone down, ignore the news, turn off the social media...sit and listen, take them with you on errands, ask them (including your better half) what they hope and dream about...appreciate time.
“And in the end it's not the years in your life that count; it's the life in your years. ” —Abraham Lincoln
Don't Fear That Day!
Jonathan Kennedy, Jr. Tuesday, July 28 2020
 Men! Each Monday brings yet more and more...it's unbelievable how much is being thrown at us right now. It's almost unfathomable what the world is willing to do to distract us from Truth and our responsibilities. There are things you need to be thinking of and understanding.
There is most certainly a battle ongoing of good vs evil, light and dark. The battle has already been won and yet needs to play out. We are in the middle of much of this right now. You need to know that you are here for a reason in this time and place to serve a purpose beyond the one you may see currently. You are the right man, for yourself, your wife, kids, business and community. You need to trust in God, something beyond your own reason to combat this. You need to put down the bottle and be sober and alive and present. You need to NOT watch the porn or instagram or newscast and love and care for your family and community. Now is the time to KNOW your family and get to KNOW them daily so you can meet each other's needs when the time arises.
You can do it, it will all work out...Be the Man, Endeavor with Purpose and don't look back!
Freedom in Failure
My youngest daughter is now 6 yrs old. She's an absolute trip. Nothing, I mean nothing slows her down. You could say she's like the Tasmanian devil, that is super sweet and kind yet also a whirling dervish of sorts. She also has a knack for coming up with super-witty one-liners despite some serious processing disorders and learning challenges. The kid always has a smile on her face and very rarely gets down on herself, despite things not going her way often.
When all this craziness of life got on we were discussing how our family would handle this and the attitude we would choose to confront all these challenges. She spoke up..."so dad, we're gonna be busy living life, not dying life!" Bingo!! She nailed it, not bad for a 5 yr old. So, how are you living life?
Freedom in Failure
Many of you have heard of Sara Blakely by this point. She started the company Spanx and turned it into a billion dollar a year revenue business. Pretty impressive.
She credits her dad and the question he used to ask her each week with her success: 'What have you failed at this week?' Think about that, sitting at the dinner table and he asked her what she failed at...when she told him, he praised her! If she didn't try he asked her to find something to fail at.
It's absolutely brilliant. We are all apprehensive about the future and most of us are apprehensive about not living up to our expectations into the future. Yet here this man taught his daughter what it meant to fail and fail well so she would not have that fear or apprehension.
Let me tell you, I've been using this for a year with my kids. They 've done things I never thought possible for their age because they were given permission to fail and fail wildly with no repercussions.
Action time: Give yourself, your wife and kids permission to fail at something the need to be trying.
Freedom in Failure
If you haven't failed lately then are you really living a life worth living?
I implore you to seek out failure.
I give you permission to do so in a grand way.
We have a purpose greater than we are living into, how can you get there if you are not pushing yourself beyond the boundaries? How can you make it to the next level without some opportunity to not pass the test? Why choose easy when you already know the outcome?
So, how have you failed lately?
Come on now, you're a man, choose something this week and go big or go home! After all we're called to be "busy living life, not dying life!!"
Seek failure and the returns of successes and self-realization will abound and that inner leader, the real you will spring forth and a whole new world will blossom before you.
Action item:
- Ask your family to try to fail at something weekly
- Lead them by trying things to fail at yourself weekly
- Share your failings openly with yourself and others, humanity needs more authentic men
Don't Fear That Day!
Jonathan Kennedy, Jr.
Monday, July 20 2020
 Happy Monday to you All!! Another awesome week to embrace the opportunities, trials, tribulations and beauty of life!
Remember things are happening FOR YOU not to you, embrace the things that are tough and relish in the things that are easy while choosing tough things to tackle to strengthen your next endeavor. One of my favorite quotes is:
"Hard choices, easy Life. Easy choices, hard Life." - Jerzy Gregorek
The Thing about Hard Things
Many times in life the events that seem to be the most trying are also the most rewarding. I find this true in personal growth: both mental and physical, in building relationships with others, choosing who to spend your time with or who not to spend your time with, in growing my faith and dependence on God, in marriage and raising a family and in serving clients. The truth-laden hard choice is the one that gets most rewarded. How often are you pursuing hard choices?
The Thing about Hard Things
Most often we choose the easy way because well, it's easy. What would happen to you if you flipped your script and decided to choose the hard thing each time you make it to a decision point? What if instead of taking the path well worn you jumped on that path less traveled? I already know how that looks. At first you will be euphoric and excited that you made a decision for growth. Then shortly afterward you'll hit a bump and you'll be miserable and rueing the day you made that choice.
Now you're at another inflection point: abandon ship and sulk away OR double-down and make it happen. If you want to be a resilient endeavoring man, the man God created to impact and influence your family and those in your community it's time to double-down and keep choosing hard. Finish the job and appreciate the tenacity it took to make it happen and the growth you experienced from not giving up or giving in to the easy way.
The Thing about Hard Things
There is a mental default that if we cannot do something that is Hard we have failed. I'd argue that if you hadn't tried something Hard you would've failed. The act of trying to accomplish the Hard Choice is where you win, it's when you make that conscious decision to do the Hard thing that the victory occurs. What happens after is inconsequential. It's in the handling of Hard that we are formed and transformed toward who we've been created to be.
If all you're doing is skating by on the Easy choices of life what's the purpose? Or perhaps you haven't identified your purpose and you are unwilling to choose things to push you down that path. Resist the urge to join the cancel culture and sit at home!! Jump into the pool of life with both feet! Go ahead, you can do it, watch how your kids do it, they can be great reminders of the mental shackles we've allowed to bind us over time.
The Thing about Hard Things
Isaiah 30.21: "Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, 'This is the way; walk in it'."
Since the world fell into sin through Adam and Eve we've been given the chance to make Hard Choices or Easy Choices. We know deep down the path for us, we know deep down if we've made the decisions that we've been called to. Remember you are here for a reason to fulfill a purpose; make the choices that will sustain, grow and nurture your purpose, NOW! Don't wait, tomorrow is not promised.
This weeks action items:
- Look in the mirror and assess the choices you've been making
- Write down 5 choices that need addressing
- Resolve to rectify those choices immediately
- Stop making Easy Choices
- Start making Hard Choices
- Do this weekly or monthly as you see fit until you've addressed all poor choices
Don't Fear That Day!
Jonathan Kennedy Jr.
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